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Clothes, Compliments and Kindness

13/1/2019

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My mother rather fancied herself as a “human coat hanger” – she loved clothes and with limited resources, she managed to ‘present well’ by sewing most of her own clothes. In fact, when I was preparing her eulogy her cousin shared a story with me about a time when she ‘borrowed’ curtains from a movie theatre and the next weekend she was wearing a dress made from said curtains to the local dance.That skill continued as she made clothes for my sisters and I. The family photo albums are brimming with pics of the 3 Cerasa girls in matching outfits. Complete with accessories; hats  and gloves for Sunday school, little bags for our handkerchiefs and naturally there were big ribbons and bows in our hair.  She certainly passed on her love of fashion to us.  How can we ever forget the rainbow striped calypso pants with turquoise bolero tops? 

She also passed on the obligatory fashion rules …. Blue and green together are never seen, black and brown never together unless a colour in between and definitely no white shoes unless with a white dress. In fact, shoes should always be darker colour than the outfit!!  I do think she would rather love the way there are no rules these days and fashion statements are what/how  we each make them.  I confess that many of my combinations make me think of how I am rejecting the ‘fashion rules’ Barb had taught us.

A series of interesting conversations occurred recently to take me down a memory lane to reflect on my mother and her love of clothes and fashion.  I also admit, unashamedly, I do love fashion and clothes (and shoes and accessories and costume jewellery).

When collecting my ironing recently, our lovely ironing person told me how much she enjoys doing our ironing because she loves “seeing what clothes I have in the basket – your clothes are so interesting”.  

A few days later walking onto a plane the flight Manager blatantly looked me up and down and said spontaneously – “What a great outfit – you look fantastic”.  He even nudged his colleague to check me out. 

Two nights later walking across the tarmac to pay for fuel at the service statin I could see the cashier watching me on the CCTV. “that is a fantastic outfit” she said as I walked in the door – “it looks really good on a small screen”, as she winked at me cheekily.

The next morning when colleting my dry cleaning (always use the same cleaners locally so I would be considered a regular) the owner said “have you been shopping?  You have some clothes I have not seen before”. “No, I have been doing some recycling from the wardrobe,”  I responded. “I do love looking after your clothes” she said, “you have such fabulous and interesting clothes”.
 Putting things away that afternoon I thought to myself about the feminist ideology that we should not comment on another’s appearance. Professional environments have guidelines written about it, including code of conduct rules. However, this series of conversations and compliments were random, spontaneous words of kindness directed to me.  YES, I dress for myself, not to please others – BUT, it is nurturing and refreshing to receive a genuine compliment.  I think we should feel OK to share a comment with another if it is genuine, kind and heartfelt. I know how good it feels to receive – and if paying a compliment to another makes someone else feels fab …. that is a good thing, RIGHT? 

#kindness #compliments #fashion #familyandfriends

DC
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Family who are friends and friends who are family …. Birthday 2018

5/1/2019

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In May 2017 I made a decision that would set a path for me I could not have predicated. That is the wonder and the “shit-scary” of this thing called life, with all its unpredictability.
I did not know it would take me so long to find my next professional opportunity.
I did know that I made the right decision and that me the professional, is so interwoven with me the personal.
I did not know that I would question realities so intensely, that I became quite afraid of what I was looking at.
I did know that I had so much still to do in my life time.
I did not know that I could feel such loneliness, in such a busy life.
I did not realise there were people around who would step out and step up for me and support me in a way that was way beyond the call of friendship and professionalism.
I did know that I always like to have a job and I am not one who is planning for “retirement”.
I did not know that my “resilience” (which so many people have told me they admire in me) would feel to me like it was raw survival, not resilience.
I did know that I have felt “dark days” and I know how that feels and I also knew I was the only one in complete control of that.

Of course, the obvious ‘lesson’ is that each one of us is the driver of our own life. That can be challenging some days.

I have so much to be thankful for and that Tezza, family and friends stood there with me, for me, beside me and believing in me.

The story of May ’17 – September ’18 is a kaleidoscope of tales that is for another day and another post (or many).

However, one night a while back, after a busy week of both Tez and I working, doing life and doing what grown-ups have to do, we were sitting on the sofa on a Friday night and watching a ‘bubble gum for the brain’ movie (some trashy) and I started to reflect upon that kaleidoscope, looked at him and said, “right now, we are a bit disconnected from our family and friends”. I wondered why we work so hard and have such a wonderful place to enjoy the art of conviviality and not see anyone? I suggested we needed to invite people down for a long table - long lunch. 

It was coincidental that the next soonest date, was the weekend of my birthday. 

After a few years of being quieter than usual for my annual cake day – festival like celebrations, the 2018 birthday was approached with my preferred ‘birthday festival’ style.  Spontaneous invitations were sent at short notice and those who could attend, were able to enjoy some good food and better company.

I MUST make a special mention of the Cheeses and say CORNELIUS CHEESE – you are absolutely amazing !!

#happytastings #makingmemories #debandtez #familyandfriend

DC
https://www.corneliuscheese.com.au

(this post was not sponsored) 

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                                                                                         Reflective DC 
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