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Let’s get married…#2 

21/3/2015

2 Comments

 
Nothing in the world fills my heart with love like the birth of a baby and at the same time the birth of a mother and father. I have previously shared with you my indescribable joy to meet my great niece, Imogen Rose, on her birth day and give hugs to the new mother and father. Of course her daddy is my nephew Kane.

The beginning of family life for Kane and Carly, living in London and welcoming the light of their life has given so much joy to our extended families. Here in OZ and also in the UK.

So Imogen was very helpful in participating in the proposal from Kane to Carly.

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It would have been hard to say NO to this proposal.
It was a very happy time when we all heard that Carly and Kane were going to take the next step in their life journey together.  For me, this was only enhanced by the news they decided to marry while visiting Australia for a holiday. What really blew me away was when they asked me to be their Celebrant. 

Can you guess what I said???

Carly and Kane met when they bumped into each other literally at a music festival on new year’s eve a couple of years ago. Their romance involved lots of hanging out together and then being separated. Carly was doing the English girl travel around OZ and Asia thing. Intense time together and missing each other when apart soon defines whether a couple are really committed to each other. The decision for Kane to move to the UK was not a tough one and they have not looked back.

They are both personalities who love to party and enjoy the company of others, so a pool party with family and friends was no surprise for how they wanted to mark their special ceremony.
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…There was no doubt they would party, as they 

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...danced their way in together

So let’s get married…standing beside my nephew and my soon to be niece in law made me one very happy Auntie Debby. I felt like my heart would leap out of chest as it was so full of happy love and pride as I watched these darling two make their commitments. How amazing…cradled the baby boy in my arms and now standing here watching this man, all grown up, handsome and serious, as he pledged his love.
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Carly was joined by an absolutely gorgeous friend from Scotland, darling Lauren and Jesse, Kane’s brother was there to keep an eye on events. Imogen held the rings and right on cue when she was mentioned in the ceremony, she made sure people knew who she was by smiling profusely for the cameras to take her photo.
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Imogen was very happy to join in the party activities.
A very emotional Kane and Carly listened to a message I had received from Chris, Carly’s father. He had sent it on behalf of Barbara Carly’s mum and himself. As they were unable to travel from UK, with me being the Celebrant, it meant I could incorporate a message from them into the ceremony.  There were not too many dry eyes after hearing the beautiful words offering blessings to the day and welcoming Kane as their son-in-law. What a privilege it was to be able to do that for them all.
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Now we are married
Love is a temporary madness,
it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides.
And when it subsides you have to make a decision.
You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together
that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
Because this is what love is.
Love is not breathlessness,
it is not excitement,
it is not the promulgation of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any fool can do.
Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,
and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
Those that truly love, have roots that grow towards each other underground,
and when all the pretty blossom have fallen from their branches,
they find that they are one tree and not two.
from Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres
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This is the look of love!
#allyouneedislove

DC
2 Comments

Is something going on here?

20/3/2015

0 Comments

 
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“Of course, Imogen. What’s up?”
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” Yes, there is going to be a party.”
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“Yep, they are getting the tables and chairs ready so that people will have somewhere to sit.”
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“No, I think they will have enough.”
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”It is OK, I will help you with lunch”
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” That is Ok, darling I am going to get you your favourite; Spaghetti Bolognese.”
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#allyouneedislove DC
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Sisters...Road trip

19/3/2015

2 Comments

 
Sisters. So much has been written, analysed, philosophised, fantasised, romanticised, vilified, rationalised, hypothesised and simply talked about in regard to sisters.

Sisters may be biological, foster, adopted, soul, work, professional, chosen, united by a cause or connected by a passion.

Among many, many women in my sisterhood are my two biological sisters. I love the times we get to hang out together, albeit they are not often as we all have busy lives.
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Sisters
I think we are very different, yet we are often told how much alike we look. We certainly have personalities as different as our hair colour.  We often have very differing perspectives and opinions on matters. Both my sisters are younger than me and they each have three children, (I know, you have heard me talk about my nephews and nieces on many occasions).
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Three sisters
Us three Cerasa sisters are close. Over the years we have had many shared experiences, our share of challenges, laughs, tough times and very funny times.  Both sisters have put me up as a “boarder” at different times of my adult life. One thing that I am very sure is that we would always be there for each other if and when we needed.

We can go for weeks without contact, as our lives get on with being busy in daily activity and then we have intense periods of time when we are together. All in all, our situation is not so different to many others.
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Time for a catch up lunch
One thing that we have each inherited from our mother is our ability to find humour in stuff…some things just crack us up!
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No sharing the joke...it was too funny!
Soon we are taking off on a short trip together.  We need to take care of some personal family business and it will be a rare opportunity for it just to be the three of us. I am really looking forward to it – as I just know we will laugh a lot!

The reason why I started to reflect on life with my sisters was this video clip.  It made me think about sisterhood in its many guises.

Do you have a sister – biological or other?

DC
2 Comments

Let’s get married…#1 

17/3/2015

0 Comments

 
When I was chatting with my niece, Daniella, about her wedding our first conversation was about the usual pretty things connected to weddings, as you can imagine.  OK – it is a girl type of thing, so if you are a male reader you just need to accept that bit!  Anyway, we chatted away and naturally I was very excited. My beautiful niece was planning her wedding. (My other beautiful niece had her wedding a few years ago).

A few days later, my excitement was enhanced when she asked me if I would be her Celebrant…well, I am sure you can imagine…elation immeasurable!

How many people have the privilege to be involved in such an enormously special way? I was asked to be the celebrant when Daniella married Dan. WOW!!

I recognised that many features of this wedding would be special when the invitation arrived in the mail. A drawing by Dan on the invitation was a clear indication that their unique style would be evident throughout the day.
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Invitation drawing by Dan
One of the many wonderful things about being involved in a commitment ceremony like this is hearing how the couple meet and how their love grows. 

Daniella and Dan first met when Dan was in a Spinal Rehabilitation Unit, and Daniella was working there for a four month nursing graduate year placement. Due to the nature of the rehab environment, they saw each other frequently, which provided the time for them to get to know each other. However, it was a purely professional relationship and they did not have contact after that initial meeting in the “work” environment until two years later. When they reconnected, a lovely friendship blossomed into a romance that led to them deciding to marry each other and be each other’s life partner.
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Let’s be married Photo courtesy Tony Matera
So was I emotional?  Did I get choked up during the ceremony? Of course, that is a reasonable question, as I am known to freely express my emotions. As I was chatting prior to the ceremony I was a tad nervous. Not because I was about to speak in public or “appear for the first time” in front of a large group of guests. My nervousness was about wanting a perfect day for me niece and my soon to be nephew-in-law. As I stood waiting for her to arrive my heart was racing with anticipation. Once we started with the ceremony, I felt like I took one breath and did not exhale until the end. As I concluded what I had to say, my voice may have cracked a little. But I held it together.
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Deb the celebrant Photo courtesy Tony Matera
The woman weeping and bursting with pride and enormous love, standing to the side listening to the best groom’s speech ever. EVER. That was me.
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Just married
“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. 
Happiness never decreases by being shared” …Buddha

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This is the look of love Photo courtesy Hails & Shine Photography
DC
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Dreams ….. you have to have them so they can come true …

14/3/2015

4 Comments

 
Professionally my career has taken many turns and directions. Many unplanned and unexpected chapters, with so many extraordinary results and opportunities.

In my clinical life, midwifery allowed me to achieve amazing experiences with beautiful people. Being invited and welcomed into an intimacy circle where people share innermost feelings, often secrets and sometimes fears cannot be dismissed or disrespected. It was and is such a privilege.

I have discovered a new passion, which again, invites me into such circles of intimacy.

For many years I have talked about how I would love to be a Celebrant. Imagine being able to work with people to help them create a wonderful life celebration event. Whether it is a marriage, funeral or naming ceremony or any other type of event that has significance, people want to make their special events memorable. I am not sure why it appealed to me, it just did.  

One day someone said to me, “When are you going to become a Celebrant? You have talked about it long enough!” They were right; I have talked about it long enough, so I set about doing the program.  

So another ‘hobby’ has been added to my list of passions.  

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"Confetti" picture courtesy of Lauren
I look forward to sharing stories with you.

DC


4 Comments

Public holidays…never seem to go to plan & pickled aubergines

12/3/2015

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Public holidays always seem to have an air of something special about them. Different to weekends or rostered days off from work, public holidays seem to demand that plans are made for them.

Extra special plans to ensure that make the public holiday have you feeling like you have had some benefit from them and they have been a real treat.

Our public holiday this week was going to be a day at home for me doing all sorts of things that I have wanted to catch up on for weeks. Of course my plans were about 36 hours of activity to fit into nine hours…but then again, plans are made to be changed - apparently!!

After having to log on and do a few hours of unexpected work, I was all set to commence some other things when in walked Tez with about 20kgs of produce.  
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20kgs of produce from the PCH veggie patch

Feeling very proud of himself for cleaning up the remains of the summer crop from the veggie garden he happily advised me “you should be able to make some good preserves with this lot”!

“Not in my plan for my public holiday”, was what I thought.

However, I could not see all the wonderful veggies go to waste, so it was out with the pans and some old recipes.
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My recipe from 1973 – shared with me by a friend’s grandmother.

Jars of tomato relish, little yellow pear tomato relish, green tomato relish, pickled mini eggplants, green tomato jam. Chillies and peppers ready to be turned into jams. 
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Green and yellow tomatoes    
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Finger aubergines ready to pickle  

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The pantry will be well stocked, that is for sure.
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Jars a plenty of relish

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Death and Dying...I would like to write my own obituary *trigger warning* – talk of death – but not a sad story

9/3/2015

2 Comments

 
The Obituary that was written for Colleen McCullough in the Australian newspaper, a while ago, really stirred me up. Some of you may recall my rant and the displeasure I voiced on my Facebook page.  

Since then, I have been thinking about death and dying. More accurately, I have been thinking about my own obituary and eulogy. Don’t be alarmed, I don’t think I have an impending doom…in fact, I think I am only half way through my life and will live until I am 120 years old. However, what I do want,  is to “own” what is said about me after I die. Is that an unreasonable request? Somehow, it seems wrong to me that each of us cannot contribute to our own “celebration of life”,  in a meaningful and honest way.

So often, the reality of one’s life is not represented in the most truthful manner. How often do we hear platitudes paid, that don’t truly reflect the life that has just passed away?

I often think about the death of my mother. I truly believe that she was fortunate to know that she was about to die and therefore, was able to contribute to the planning of her “life celebration ceremony”.  She had had a progressive illness for more than 8 years. In the last 3 of those 8 years, the quality of her life was so diminished it was terrible to watch her shrinking liveliness. Without going into details here and now, suffice to say that the decision to stop the treatment that was maintaining her being “alive”, was made with great sensitivity and consideration of her readiness to go. 

I often reflect how I believe she was fortunate to say goodbyes to 6 grandchildren who she totally adored. She got to eat foods that had been forbidden for many years. She spent quiet and calm time with my sisters and I. She was able to tell us the things she did and did not want in her funeral ceremony.  

Barb loved music and at one stage my sisters and I had to advise her that we were not planning a disco and many of her chosen songs would be impossible to add to the playlist!

Yes, the tangible grief of those present at the funeral was sad.  Sadness for the loss that each person felt, that she was longer around. Barb was not sad. She was finally at peace and rest. Yes, she was blessed. 

So how many people really think this through? How many people actually have their wishes respected? Why don’t we talk more openly about death and dying? Why are we reluctant to ensure those around us, know what we want?  

We are not morbid about this dialogue in our house. The conversation has been upbeat and alive; as we make sure we know what each other want. In fact, some of the innovative ideas that Tez has suggested are really not feasible.  

At least, we are having the chat.  

Are you?
DC
2 Comments

Great shoes...

5/3/2015

4 Comments

 
Recently I saw a joke that went along the lines of “The moral of the Cinderella story is that if you wear great shoes it can change your life. The end.”

I also saw another jibe that asked “If Cinderella’s shoe was a perfect fit, why did it fall off while running down the stairs?”

Personally, I am no stranger to jibes and jokes about shoes. Yes, I admit, I have “a serious thing” about shoes. I think it is a genetic thing. My grandfather was a boot/shoemaker and repairer his entire life. He had stalls at markets selling shoes. My uncle took over the business and from the age of eight my first after school paid job was working in the various shoe stalls/shops. I love shoes.  My feet often hurt and I think feet are a strange part of the human anatomy, but I do love shoes. OK – I have said it…I have confessed to my weakness.

However, there is a serious side to this love. I also think when children first commence walking, a good pair of shoes, fitted well, are important. I recall buying first pairs’ of shoes for numerous children over the years. This has developed into another “thing”. 

For some of those children, now as wonderful young adults, I have offered to buy them their wedding day shoes. After all, walking over a cloud to commit to the love of your life, one should be carried along on great footwear!! It is a small something I can offer…
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Tip toes to love...DC x

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