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Damned if you do, Damned if you don't ....

25/6/2016

4 Comments

 

Some time ago, when I was CEO at Royal College of Nursing Australia, the people I worked with suggested I join the VINNIES CEO Sleepout. I went along with it and felt that it was probably a worthy cause.  I also knew that there were nurses working in programs aimed at homelessness around Australia. I wanted to know more about that before I joined the Sleepout.

I was very fortunate to spend some time with a nurse in a Melbourne based program delivering basic health care to people who lived and slept rough. I visited a centre that provided temporary accommodation for men and also provided swags and fundamental care packages to other men that could not be provided with beds.  I spent some time with some people who worked with young people who were homeless due to other issues (addictions and poor social circumstances). I was SO impressed by people in my profession and what they did for their work. No judgement, fairly and caringly delivered services, as part of their job, every day.

My first Sleepout exposed me to more information about VINNIES and what they do in their various programs around the various states and territories.  The event presentations provided me with “evidence” by way of statistics that demonstrated how many people live this way in Australia. They staggered me with details of how many women sleep rough with their kids. That was THE punch in the guts for me.  The fact that a mother would choose to flee an environment (that provided a roof over their head), with her kids and decide that sleeping in a car or an alley was a better alternative for herself and children, has never left me. This is why I support what VINNIES do around Australia and why I continue to support the CEO Sleepout.

This week I went along to the Melbourne site, for this year’s CEO Sleepout. I believe there were approximately 200 of us CEOs in Melbourne.  The recently appointed Victorian CEO Susan Cattermole was introduced to us all.  Turned out she is connected to some people I love very much – so I introduced myself to her for a brief hello and chat.

After the normal format of some talks, meeting people who have been supported through VINNIES programs over the last 12 months and some mingling and chatting, it was lights out at approximately 10:15 pm.  People started to drift to their chosen spots on the concrete concourse, rug up and slip into sleeping bags.

About fifteen minutes later there seemed to be a bit of noise coming from one end of the concourse.  What transpired was a “visit” of approximately 30 protestors who had come along to challenge what the CEO Sleepout was doing and they had some very strong viewpoints.  There were some very articulate, highly informed arguments that they were presenting. They chanted, beat a drum and challenged a number of the people standing around.  The claimed that “CEO” stood for “Creators of Economic Oppression”. They asked for us to give up our jobs, give them the keys to our homes and that our gestures of one night on concrete were tokenistic. They yelled that we should “move along in case tourists saw us”. They stated they represented many minority, disenfranchised and disadvantaged groups. I could not determine if they were all homeless themselves or not.

Many of the things they said, I agreed with (in fact; STRONGLY agree with), yet I find myself feeling so uncomfortable about what happened and I am trying to understand why?  I have spent considerable time inside my own head trying to reflect on why I have reacted so.  

They said housing was a basic human right – I AGREE
They said the disadvantaged people should be given support – I AGREE
They said homeless people should be assisted to find affordable housing – I AGREE
They said us being in our designer sleeping bags and wearing beanies was not truly what it is like to be homeless  – I AGREE (and I know many CEOs donate their sleeping bags to shelters after the event!!)
They said that Australia’s first people (indigenous people) are probably the most disadvantaged people in Australia – I AGREE

I attempt to be thoughtful to social and community needs for all people and I am passionate about many causes. I like to think that I am a caring and respectful person in relation to most people and most issues. BUT, was my being part of the CEO Sleepout disrespectful to others and was my “token effort” in some way offensive?  I know that I have a privileged life, I work hard and I would like to think I encourage and “mentor” others (especially young people) and give people opportunity.  I also know that one night of little sleep, being cold and having a cup of soup is not my norm – but so much worse is the norm, for many others.  That’s why I participate….

The reality is that SO MUCH does need to be done for so many disadvantaged, disenfranchised, discriminated and ignored social issues and community groups. If it is not undertaken by groups like VINNIES and so many other NGO/NFP charity organisations – who would do it?   I won’t enter the political debate of who, what and why it should be done, here. 
HOWEVER, I feel privileged and grateful  that 30 people donated $2700.00 to support me to take part of  the CEO Sleepout and if that contribution helps one mother and her kids be safe and directed toward affordable housing in the VINNIES “home connect” program,  THEN I will not apologise for being a CEO in my designer sleeping bag. 

BUT,  I will say thank you to my donors and to the people who helped at the Sleepout  and thank you to VINNIES for the work you do. I also say thank you to the protestors for making me venture into my own head space about what I was doing and evaluating what I believe.  AND FINALLY, Susan Carttermole, VINNIES Victoria CEO, your first event was a success and I look forward to seeing you next year.

I will unashamedly say that - you can still donate to my sleepout effort .... if you got to the VINNIES CEO Sleepout webpage and follow the links to my name ..... I am still fund raising until the end of August 2016. Thanks

Be warm my friends
DC 
4 Comments

Keeping up with the Bloggers

21/6/2016

2 Comments

 
The Kardashians are not really anything/anyones that I follow.  Maybe the passing glance at a pic in my weekly "WHOfest" (as you know I love my fix of WHO magazine every week).
 However, I do follow quite a few Bloggers.  There are so many great Bloggers around and it is so hard to keep up with them all. Such an incredible variety of Blogger styles available and to enjoy.
Every so often I find I need to delete &/or cull and it is interesting how I sometimes feel a tiny pang of guilt at having not read one of my faves and find myself deleting one of their posts! Many of the bloggers I don't even know and will probably never meet.  Some, however, have became very treasured real life friend and others very dear blog-mates.
One of the things that stands out for me with the blogs that I choose to read regularly, is how consistent the bloggers are. I so admire the ability they have to be able to write good stuff, so often. 
This thing called blogging has become a significant part of my life. Whether it is attempting to keep up with my own blog, reading or considering others. Over recent months I reflected on my own blog. It is something that I now realize has become important to me. My blog is best described as chatting a little bit, about a lot of things .... mainly living!
However, one observation I have made is that I am not reading as many books at the moment. Lots of blogs, SoMe and watching Vlogs, yes ... But not book reading. I do have a new one to start that was recently highly recommended, so I will allow myself the pleasure.
Has all the new generation of communication, connection and life changed your reading habits?

Sending happy to you.

DC

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20th anniversary …. Truly, madly, deeply #debandtez

18/6/2016

4 Comments

 
Picture
Recently, Tez and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. Just like on our wedding day, Tez allowed me to do most of the planning and went along with the things that I wanted to do to celebrate.  We invited many of our family, extended family, friends  and wonderful network of relationships from around the world. Many could not join us, for a variety of reasons; which we understood, however, it was so much fun to have more than 50 of the original guests from our wedding, together with others, celebrate with us. Including 8 of the 12 children, from our wedding group.
 
With my beloved BFF, Andrew,  as our “Em-Cee” making sure all things followed the script as I desired, we had a great night.
 
This is what I said during my speech….
 
….. I only have two regrets from 27 April 1996 – we did not have a professional photographer and I made a crap speech …. I have corrected one regret and know that Tony will create magic with the photos he takes tonight – now I hope to improve on my effort from 20 years ago with these following few words I share with you!
 
Before I start though,  I am asking all of you here to make sure that when the tele-movie of the Deb and Tez story is made….. Please make sure that Rene Russo is cast in the role of DC and Mark Harmon (Jethro from NCIS) is cast in the TC role ….. 
 
Most of you will know that I am a bit of a movie addict (especially chick flicks) – so I will know how many of you pay attention to my speech,  because you will be the ones who recognize the  number of references I make to some of my all-time favourite movies.
 
It would be polite do make some thank you acknowledgements, but I think Tezza can take care of that tonight, with the exception of my special mention & thank you to those that were able to join us from the original wedding group. 
 
My darling awesome beloved Andrew,  my witness.  AG you know how much I love and adore you …. Always.
 
Mick, Tezza’s witness -  Number 1 step son, you know you what? You turned out to be OK for a ratbag kid – I think the fact that you have also married a gorgeous Italian gal, has helped with that!  
 
And the babies.  Oh my goodness ….. the babies. Fabian, Jesse C,  Ashlee and beautiful boy Kane could not be here – but Dani, Gabi, Samara, Beks, Matilda, Mason, Tait and my darling little boy Jesse …… are here tonight.  This is how I know that 20 years has gone past,  when I look at this group of truly wonderful magnificent young people  – this is what gives me such hope for humanity when I see such gorgeousness amongst these babies. All grown up. Each one of you made my wedding day magical and beautiful  - you may not have realized it then – but I sure hope that each of you know what a special part you have in my heart and I am so thrilled that you each could be here tonight.
 
So where did the story really begin ….. In an airport hangar is the scene.  Meeting Tezza at the Ambulance air wing branch at Essendon airport is where it begun……. 
 
However, before I thank the husband, a post that my darling #galpal Bella had on her Facebook recently,  made me think ….. I would like to give a shout out to the other blokes who dumped  me or who chose not to hang around  – ‘cos if any of them had actually wanted to make a life with me, I would not have ended up making the best decision ever – and that was to make the choice to be with Tezza. Their lack of interest, meant  “I changed my stars” (A Knight’s Tale)
 
I know that you have all heard the story about the romance and how he proposed 3 times before I said yes and the story of when I was at the airport in Bali waiting for Tezza to arrive and what Andrew said to me ….. but what many of you will not know is the story of a couple of nights post operatively,  after that bloody old shit “jimmy dancer” had called by and I was feeling quite unwell ….. I was brewing an infection and was feeling less than average.  Tezza bundled me up and wrapped me in a blanket and rocked me like a child in that hospital bed and he did not leave my side for days.  He was so loving and caring and nurturing and I remember thinking – this is “Love; Actually” !
 
The first 20 years of marriage have included lots of travel, job changes, many hairstyles – for both of us, a lot of food and plenty of wine, sharing so much with amazing friends and family along the way – engagement holiday with Andrew and Ike, Honeymoon with Ruthie and Russell, babies arrivals and a few weddings  – a few downs and a whole lot of ups …. In fact I have been “having the time of my life”.(Dirty Dancing) When I asked him once why he wanted to marry me,  he told me quite simply “ we can be happy”– And he can still make me laugh out loud. I now know that,  “he is not perfect and I am not perfect but we are perfect for each other” (Good Will Hunting) 
 
I once said to someone I wanted a dagg to renovate – I met Tezza and he said to me “How do you spell ’Gabbana’?” (Devil wears Prada) and then we found that Paul Smith clothes worked really well for Tez …. So the renovation became an ongoing collaboration with Mr Smith. It is still our ambition to visit the Milan Paul Smith store after having  visited so many other stores around the globe. And we even saw the original “LOVE” tapestry in the New York store. (Seen in Sex & the City movie) Now we have our own LOVE.
 
¾ of our married life has been at our beloved Plough Creek Homestead – When Tezza found PCH and we decided to make a bid to buy it  ….. he said “Didn’t I tell you that this was a wonderful place?” (Breakfast at Tiffany’s)
 
So many wonderful times have been shared with so many at PCH.
We have had some fabulous occasions inclusive of great meals and a good bottle of wine or 100, a few tough times and so many shared happy, wonderful times with family and friends. Together we have loved sharing the art of conviviality.

Some days I want to throttle you Tez,  ‘cos no one eats their meal as slow as you, or takes as long to sit down for a meal or repeats the same stories over and over and over  …. Yes,  we know that we should think of the repeated stories like our favourite songs on the radio that are repeated regularly. Ain’t that right Rossco and Timmy?  But it is all the other “million tiny little things that when added up, mean we should be together  and why we are”…..   (Sleepless in Seattle)  
 
You always support me, remind me I am loved when I have another setback or rejection, let me pursue dreams and have a go at things that may only ever be hobbies, but make me feel happy. You always look after me when I am infirmed –  YES…. Wheelchairs/crutches/walking stick, cancer and cavities in the roof of my mouth don’t turn you off !! You never seem to get rattled by the big stuff. “Your sons love you and if I knew nothing else about you that would be enough.” (A Knights Tale) But I also know that you are a very good man, Terry Chessells. And I am proud that you are my husband. “This is my word... and as such is beyond contestation” (A Knights Tale)
 
I once heard someone say  "Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories." (An Affair to Remember)
 
So, Tezza Ed,  thank you for making 20 years of warm memories with me.
 
I love you. Truly, Madly, Deeply (Truly, Madly, Deeply)
 
DC
4 Comments

It has been a while ....

1/6/2016

4 Comments

 
It is the first day of the sixth month of two thousand and sixteen. WOW.

It does not seem that long ago and it was mid January and we had arrived home from a fab holiday.  Busy couple of weeks when we arrived home, some self imposed "off the grid" time led into a few months of reflection and I have decided it is time to revisit my blog. During my down time I have been thinking about what my blog is about and what it means to me. I had a moment of clarity when I recognized I was missing the "dialogue";  it is my conversation catch up time. My time to connect with others and talk about living. I love to catch up with people and have a chat. The blog allows me to do that, with more than one person at once  ..... and sometimes I am still in my pj's when I have that catch up.  Oh yes, I do love to be in the real person for a chat, but that is not possible all the time, so here is my alternative to stay in touch.

In some ways the blog is like comfort food for an extrovert, chatter person and social being like me. SO, I am back.
As it has been a while I have a lot to share and catch up on.  HOW ARE YOU? HOW IS YOUR LIVING GOING?

Off to work now, however,  will be calling by again soon. 

Warm wishes - and remember;  Be Happy and Be Healthy.

DC x
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