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Clothes, Compliments and Kindness

13/1/2019

1 Comment

 
My mother rather fancied herself as a “human coat hanger” – she loved clothes and with limited resources, she managed to ‘present well’ by sewing most of her own clothes. In fact, when I was preparing her eulogy her cousin shared a story with me about a time when she ‘borrowed’ curtains from a movie theatre and the next weekend she was wearing a dress made from said curtains to the local dance.That skill continued as she made clothes for my sisters and I. The family photo albums are brimming with pics of the 3 Cerasa girls in matching outfits. Complete with accessories; hats  and gloves for Sunday school, little bags for our handkerchiefs and naturally there were big ribbons and bows in our hair.  She certainly passed on her love of fashion to us.  How can we ever forget the rainbow striped calypso pants with turquoise bolero tops? 

She also passed on the obligatory fashion rules …. Blue and green together are never seen, black and brown never together unless a colour in between and definitely no white shoes unless with a white dress. In fact, shoes should always be darker colour than the outfit!!  I do think she would rather love the way there are no rules these days and fashion statements are what/how  we each make them.  I confess that many of my combinations make me think of how I am rejecting the ‘fashion rules’ Barb had taught us.

A series of interesting conversations occurred recently to take me down a memory lane to reflect on my mother and her love of clothes and fashion.  I also admit, unashamedly, I do love fashion and clothes (and shoes and accessories and costume jewellery).

When collecting my ironing recently, our lovely ironing person told me how much she enjoys doing our ironing because she loves “seeing what clothes I have in the basket – your clothes are so interesting”.  

A few days later walking onto a plane the flight Manager blatantly looked me up and down and said spontaneously – “What a great outfit – you look fantastic”.  He even nudged his colleague to check me out. 

Two nights later walking across the tarmac to pay for fuel at the service statin I could see the cashier watching me on the CCTV. “that is a fantastic outfit” she said as I walked in the door – “it looks really good on a small screen”, as she winked at me cheekily.

The next morning when colleting my dry cleaning (always use the same cleaners locally so I would be considered a regular) the owner said “have you been shopping?  You have some clothes I have not seen before”. “No, I have been doing some recycling from the wardrobe,”  I responded. “I do love looking after your clothes” she said, “you have such fabulous and interesting clothes”.
 Putting things away that afternoon I thought to myself about the feminist ideology that we should not comment on another’s appearance. Professional environments have guidelines written about it, including code of conduct rules. However, this series of conversations and compliments were random, spontaneous words of kindness directed to me.  YES, I dress for myself, not to please others – BUT, it is nurturing and refreshing to receive a genuine compliment.  I think we should feel OK to share a comment with another if it is genuine, kind and heartfelt. I know how good it feels to receive – and if paying a compliment to another makes someone else feels fab …. that is a good thing, RIGHT? 

#kindness #compliments #fashion #familyandfriends

DC
1 Comment
Donna Cameron link
21/1/2019 10:39:20 am

One of my best friends, an elderly woman, used to complement strangers on their outfits and I could see how it made them smile and lifted their spirits. It was a small act of kindness, from one of the kindest people I ever knew. So I’ve followed her example ever since.

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